fuuuuuuuuuuck.

[ i reactivated my facebook today. gross. ]

i've been feeling really negative this last little while. i think it is a direct result of some activities that i was involved in last weekend. irresponsible behaviour. i have been paying for it dearly. i think the worst is over now. i will cross my fingers ...

overall though, this weekend was pretty good. even taking into account my disposition. i can't really complain about how things went. i did not really want to go out on friday but i pushed myself. and a friend won me some money, random, i know. i have some good friends. never would have happened if i had stayed home.

yesterday i ran into an ex who i would probably rather never ever see again. not that he's a jerk, i would just yeah. do not want. my issue, not his. either way, it threw me into a bit of a tailspin. i was rude to him. very immature. it was a mess. i talked it over with my mother though, who, shockingly, provided me with what i thought was some rather sound advice. so i followed it, and e-mailed him to just explain why i had reacted that way and how i would prefer if we had no contact until at some point i was feeling better about things that are currently still bothering me. and he responded, and it's cool. he is also, incidentally, the main reason that i deactivated facebook in the first place [ this last time, anyway ... ] and so i finally decided to reactivate now that i know he will not be looking for me. i suppose all in all this was a positive exchange.

i also went on a date yesterday. i think it went well. we had dinner and then hot chocolate. he seems nice. socially awkward though, in ways that i'm not so much, and i'm not sure how i feel about that. i'm going to see him again. will update when this happens.

and TODAY was a great day for me! i went to a bridal shower for a girl from work. this would not be of note to most people, i realize. however, for me, it is a big deal. i am exceedingly selfish and usually don't show up to these kinds of events. but i went! and i am so glad that i did, a. is a nice girl and i met her family and her husband and they are all great too. i also signed up for a running clinic with the running room on denman. so excited! i hope that it does not suck. there may be potential to meet interesting people there, as well. it starts on october 3rd. can't wait.

i'm doing this thing right now where i do the opposite of what i want to do, or what i am inclined to do. i figure -- i'm not fulfilled. clearly, this is a sign that i have to change. i mean -- what would make me think that continuing to do what i have always done will eventually end up getting results? it's never worked so far, logic would therefore dictate that a change is necessary.

so, i'm taking some chances. this weekend was full of them! i'm pleased with the results. may be on to something here ...

p.s. current obsession: non-fat, sugar-free, caramel macchiatto.